I'd do anything for air

Dearest Sarah,

This is my final goodbye to you. These words you will read are the last words that you will ever hear from me. I wished you happiness every single day that I was gone, and when I came back and realized you found it, I regretted every single moment. I miss you, but that will never change. I am upset with you, but I do not hate you. I hope to never hate you. But it seems as the salty tears stream down my cheeks and drip down my tired collarbone, the feelings of hatred and pain scream at the thought of your name. I never wanted to hurt like this again. But like 6 months ago, my body aches and the heart that was sewn up so perfectly by you being there when I came back is once again stripped open, and every cut and hole are bleeding effortlessly. I will miss you for the rest of my life. And I will love you until the day I die. Like I said, Forever n’ Alwayz are not just frivolous words thrown out to you, they were an undying promise, and oath of my love for you. I never expected this day to come, or at least I didn’t expect it to come so soon. I wish I could comprehend what was going through your mind before all of this occurred, so I couldn’t be in the pain I am in now. I wanted you more than life. I gave every thing up for you, every little thing. And went through hell for you in a span of half a year. I wish I could understand why you would bring me back into this and make me feel so ecstatic about life again and rip it all from beneath me? I could finally smile again. I could finally breathe again. I could finally go through a day without feeling numb to the world. I feel as though those feelings of despair are creeping back into my bloodstream, and traveling through my thin, sickly bones. I love you, Sarah. I wish you could understand my love for you. No one in this whole entire galaxy will ever love you the way I do. Not even Samantha. No one will ever amount to the feelings my soul seems to have for you. Because my heart screams for you, still to this very moment; shattered, weak, and torn, it still screams your name. I hope Samantha makes you happy. You know, the kind of happy that we used to have. I hope she never treats you wrong or turns her back on you. I hope she never leaves you for someone else. I hope she never stabs you in the back and makes you feel like nothing. Because that is what you have done to me, and trust me, the pain that I am feeling now, is something you never want to endure. Someday you’ll understand the hurt I am in right now. And when that day comes, I hope you never make the mistake of doing this to someone else again. Please don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t feel obligated to say you’re sorry over and over again after you receive this letter. This is just me, the girl that would have done anything for you, the girl that loved you immensely, the girl that is suffocating with ache from this past year, this is just the girl that will never forget you saying goodbye. Saying the last thoughts that could possibly transpire through my head. My soul is lost to you. My smile is changed because of you, my eyes may cry for you, but they smiled for you. They smiled that big smile that you loved so much, the one that made me seem as happy as a little girl receiving her first passionate kiss. Because thats what you are to me. The one person who got me. The one person who made me feel free, who saved me, who untied my wings and let me soar. Remember me as the girl who you changed. Changed for the better. Remember me as your “beautiful little butterfly” I promised you I was a butterfly. But now its time for me to fly away, no matter how torn my wings are. I don’t want to say goodbye to you. I could write to you forever. I could sit here for the rest of my life, trying to sum up every single moment spent with you, or every feeling that you have ever made me feel. I hope you never forget me. I hope you never forget the girl that would have killed to have you. I hope you never forget my smile, my eyes, or those to die for kisses between the two of us. I know I won’t. Stay happy. Don’t forget the girl that changed my life. Don’t forget the girl that was able to be clean. Don’t forget the Sarah Annemarie Kromelis that I know. You are beautiful, in every single way and I hope that no one ever tells you differently. The memories of you and I will forever be locked in my thoughts. The first time you told me you loved me, the first time I met you, hugged you, kissed you, held your hand, the giraffes, koala bears, cuddles, naps, sleepovers, candyland, Fuzion Frenzy, sleepless nights, never ending phone calls, drives to nowhere, being best friends, telling each other secrets, kissing for hours at a time, leaf fights, nick names, pictures, writings, rebelling, laughs, smiles, heart beats, dilated pupils, and soaking up every sip the world gave us together, hand in hand, promising to never let go. Forever n’ alwayz. I love you more than the stars in the sky, more than the distance from the exact spot you are standing to Pluto, more than every human being in the world. I love you until the day that I draw my last and final breath. Goodbye my boobear, peanutbutterbutt, Sarahbear, baberz, but most of all, my babygirl. I love you. As much as my heart sinks to the bottom of my toes, this is goodbye. It has been great knowing you Sarah Annemarie Kromelis.

Love, yours always, Katherine Sanford Cline.